what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
