oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
