We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
