the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize