I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
