Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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