i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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