You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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