I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
