Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
