There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize