Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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