Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
