dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
