I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
