If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
