my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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