Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
