so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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