nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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