You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Michael Bay diarrhea
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
