You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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