Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
