I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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