Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
