Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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