After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
