I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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