hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
