Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
