why didn't you poke me back
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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