ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
