I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Small penises have feelings too.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
