You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
