I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
