The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
