I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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