a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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