Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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