We're facebook friends in real life
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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