How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
