As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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