my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize