I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
