I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
