Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
