I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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