Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
