you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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