I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
