So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
