That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
