Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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