At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
