You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
