i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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