Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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