I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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