What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wear drunk well.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
