He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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